Believe in yourself. I MEAN IT OR ELSE, DAMN IT.

I’ve been doing some soul-searching and such since I will be turning 30 next week and my Prozac prescription has been cut in half for over the previous month or so. On this soul-searching, clearer mind-thinking quest, I’m finding that a secret to success is believing in oneself.

I am unsure of so much. Clearly, this is problematic for me. How do I solve problems? I ask the Google for the Google knows all.

So I Googled “believe in yourself,” in hopes of finding some hot tips, gentle suggestions, and the like on how one goes about this.  The first selection found were images containing, “believe in yourself,” in all sorts of squiggly script and public domain images, little if any resonated with me.

Seeing a whole computer monitor worth of BELIEVE IN YOURSELF repeated dozens and dozens of times transformed from an encouragement to a demand. Picture Optimus Prime, but as bossy asshole, transforming from passive saccharine encouragement notes floating across the computer screen to  reaching out and gripping your throat until you plead allegiance to believing in yourself whether you wanted to or not, gahdamn it.

And damn it, I hate it when someone tries to tell me what to do because whatever I do what I want. (Note: I grew up an only child, and raised myself from age 10 or so and on, so I’m not entirely a dick. Just kinda broken and stuffs. And a little bit of a dick, when warranted for the greater good.)

So, back to square one. Apparently the Google doesn’t know all. Consider this the beginning of Mission: Believe in yourself, Emma, but only if you really want to. And you want to, don’t you? Yes. Yes, you do.  Also known as: Mission: BIYEBOIYRWT. AYWTDY. Y. YYD.