It’s been a struggle for a few months…since before Thanksgiving. Stepdaughter’s grades are bad. She’s failing every class except music, gym, and homeroom –the only classes without homework.
All The Husband and I get from her are lies. She DID turn in her homework. Wait, no…she did her homework but didn’t turn it in. In response to inquiries on failing tests, she now remembers that she didn’t do any of her homework. Why? Because she wants her mom to help her. Because her 6 year old half-sister plays all night until she passes out on the bedroom floor around 3 in the morning. Because she just wants her mom’s attention.
Her lies are because she doesn’t want to let us down. She craves approval and attention to the point of lying. It isn’t our approval and attention she is after as she receives this already. It’s her mom’s approval and attention she needs. The poor grades and missing assignments are a symptom of deeper pain in her home.
I’m not there. I don’t know what happens with just Stepdaughter, her mom, and her sister. But I do know what has happened to Stepdaughter in her past, and I know she’s left to deal with feelings that no child should ever have to navigate.
And I do know that I just want to hug her and help her with algebra and keep her safe and boost her up so she knows she is smart, wonderful, and so completely worthy of all the greatness life can bring her. And I do know that I’m just a woman married to her dad. I can only do so much. And I do that much. But still my heart breaks for her.
I choose hope. Hope for Stepdaughter’s future and wellbeing. It’s the only way I can face reality.
Now, where’s my Prozac?